“Negotiation in the classic diplomatic sense assumes parties more anxious to agree than to disagree”

Convincing others has a lot to do with understanding negotiation. Study the art of persuasion. Practice it. Develop an understanding of its profound value across all aspects of life. Don’t expect people to believe your blarney simply because you’re good at delivering it. Make it easy on the people you are trying to convince. I am going to illustrate basic secrets of negotiating and that will make you ready to deal.

1. Know What You’re Doing.

It’s all about persuasion, not power. Power is merely the ability to convince people to accept your ideas. Anyone in a position of power will probably agree that there are pluses and minuses of course. The plus side is that people will listen to you more readily than if you aren’t on the map financially. The minus side is that they will reduce you to one dimension and keep you there. Power is not just about calling all the shots. It’s about ability. You can call all the shots, but if they’re bad ones, no one will take much notice after while. Know what you’re doing. That’s where the real power comes from.

2. Use Metaphors and Analogies.

Give to people accessible metaphors and analogies. If you are too far over their heads, they’ll feel frustrated or, worse, inferior. Let them know you’re all on the same level in some way. Use humor. It’s a great icebreaker. Convincing other people of how wonderful you are and how lofty your ideas are is a good way to convince them to tune out or, better yet, to escape from you as soon as possible. We all need to have a healthy dose of confidence to be convincing, but don’t push it. If you do, you may see a lot of people in front of you at first, but the room will soon be empty. As the adage goes,” There’s a fine line between acceptance and resignation.” You want people to accept your ideas, not merely be resigned to them because they think they can’t fight back or are just plain exhausted by you. Don’t browbeat them into believing you. Let them think the decision is theirs. It will give them a feeling of control.

3. Analyze and Research Who You’re Dealing With.

If you walk into a negotiation and know nothing about the other party, let them talk, listen to their tone, observe their body language, and determine whether they really want to make a deal or just show you how smart they are. Most negotiations should proceed calmly, rather than in a hostile manner. However, sometimes a negotiation works best after a few screams and some table pounding. The best negotiators are chameleons. Their attitude, demeanor, approach, and posture in a negotiation will depend on the person on the other side of the table. If the other party to the transaction wants to acquire something you own, let them convince you that you really don’t want it or need it. In doing so, they’ll convince you of just how badly they want it. Money is not always the only consideration for change in the sale of an asset. Think beyond the traditional boundaries. Learn the value of saying no. View any conflict as an opportunity. Most important, know the party on the other side of the table before sitting down with them. Research who you’re dealing with, how they negotiate, and what they want from you.

4. Know Exactly What You Want and Keep It To Yourself.

If you’re careful about what you reveal, you’ll have more flexibility as you gather mare information about the contours of the deal. Don’t be confined by your expectations. Sometimes, what we think we want and what we actually want are two different things. You can discover in the middle of the negotiations that what you had wanted was the wrong thing. Sometimes, the negotiation partners can give ideas you hadn’t thought of. Even adversaries can give new ideas. Sometimes, a big question suddenly can come into your mind and you start to think in a new direction. Cut yourself some slack. It’s ok to change your mind and suggest a different approach – as long as you haven’t made any commitments to the other side. You have to assimilate new information quickly and move forward in unexpected ways – unexpected to the other party as well as to myself.

5. Let Your Guard Down, but Only on Purpose.

Offer a calculated nugget of information, or a provocative opinion, to see what the reaction is. If you say something seemingly off the cuff, you may get a revealing response. You can make an outrageous comment in a meeting just to see whether the other people play along or take a stand and disagree. It’s a good way of assessing the mettle of the folks across the table. Do you want to be liked? Are they comfortable with unpredictability? Are they capable of candor? Know that your negotiating partner may bluff, too. But when it comes to serious endeavors, you don’t want bluffers of any sort. Study person’s history.

6. Be Patient.

You have to move quickly, but if a situation requires patience, be patient. The speed depends on the circumstances, and you have to keep your objective in mind at all times. This alone can be a patience pill. One good tactic for speeding up a deal is to show a lack of interest in it. This will often make the other side rekindle their efforts to get something going. A good tactic for slowing down a deal is to distract the other side. One way is to drop hints about whether a certain aspect of the deal should be looked into further, or to mention other deals and properties as examples. That will set them off in a direction that consumes their time and focus, while they’re off on a tangent, you’ll still be on target.

That’s the reasons why negotiating should be exciting. You have to balance reason with passion. Reason keeps you open. Passion keeps your adrenaline going. Before you begin any negotiation, write down your objectives. Then try to anticipate what the other side might want. Find a way of talking about the deal and setting up parameters that will keep either of you from getting locked into an impossible position. Know what you want, bottom line, but keep it to yourself until a strategically necessary moment. Once all of the issues are on the table, you’ll have a better approach to navigating your way to your desired solution.