“Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows the ability to say no to oneself” Abraham J. Heschel

Afraid to say “No” and afraid that this word might touch someone’s feelings like your friends, family or colleagues? You will be surprised that No, can be an answer to put you in control of any situation without turning you into a impolite person.

Take a look at circumstances below and learn how to say No, you can apply them in your daily life with anyone at work or at home.

1. I Have To Do Something First.

You don’t have to tell what you have to do, you just can not do it right now. Make it clear that you promised to someone else and you must keep your promise to that person. But you may have to respond to the request when you will be available again.

2. I Am Not Qualified.

You can say that you don’t have the right skills or that you don’t have enough experience. It is better to say from the beginning that you can’t do it. But you will have to offer some help anyway, propose somebody that could help or someone to ask for the request addressed to you.

3. You Can Do It By Yourself.

Sometimes people ask for help because they are afraid that they won’t make it by themselves, lack of confidence, or laziness. Try to convince them to believe in themselves, to have some confidence and not loosing time.

4. I Suggest You Ask Somebody Else, Because I Can’t.

You don’t need to tell why you can’t help with the request you are asked for. Show that you want to help, but you can’t not do it now, and then recommend a person who actually can help, but be careful with the person you offer, if he can represent you well.

5. I Can’t, But Is There Anything I Can Do?

You have to explain your interlocutor that you want to help anytime, but if you are busy and can’t do it, show that you are open for any suggestions to offer solutions, so the interlocutor will not be offended.

6. I Would Help, But It Is Trouble.

This is useful if someone asks you something which interferers with law authorities, company policies or any other restrictions. You are open and want to help but this might bring you in trouble.

7. Not Now, Later.

If you are busy, say so, don’t make them wait and rely on you, when you can’t do it now. But you can help later on. If they are in a hurry, they’ll find someone else, or suggest someone who can do it now.

8. Some Things Come Up That Need My Attention.

You want to help, but something come up that needs your attentions. You have to do that first and then you will be available. It is temporary and you will have more time when you finish it.

9. Just Say No Sometimes.

It’s okay to just say no sometimes! But say it with respect that won’t leave any tensions between anyone and keep your relations at a good level.

We always try to please and the word “No” it’s not in our vocabulary, we substitute lots of ways to be agreeable and keep the others happy. So, learn how to say “No” that will come more naturally to you, when you do, notice it and practice saying such an important two letter word. This is not going to make you a bad person.

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