“Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows the ability to say no to oneself” Abraham J. Heschel

Afraid to say “No” and afraid that this word might touch someone’s feelings like your friends, family or colleagues? You will be surprised that No, can be an answer to put you in control of any situation without turning you into a impolite person.

Take a look at circumstances below and learn how to say No, you can apply them in your daily life with anyone at work or at home.

1. I Have To Do Something First.

You don’t have to tell what you have to do, you just can not do it right now. Make it clear that you promised to someone else and you must keep your promise to that person. But you may have to respond to the request when you will be available again.

2. I Am Not Qualified.

You can say that you don’t have the right skills or that you don’t have enough experience. It is better to say from the beginning that you can’t do it. But you will have to offer some help anyway, propose somebody that could help or someone to ask for the request addressed to you.

3. You Can Do It By Yourself.

Sometimes people ask for help because they are afraid that they won’t make it by themselves, lack of confidence, or laziness. Try to convince them to believe in themselves, to have some confidence and not loosing time.

4. I Suggest You Ask Somebody Else, Because I Can’t.

You don’t need to tell why you can’t help with the request you are asked for. Show that you want to help, but you can’t not do it now, and then recommend a person who actually can help, but be careful with the person you offer, if he can represent you well.

5. I Can’t, But Is There Anything I Can Do?

You have to explain your interlocutor that you want to help anytime, but if you are busy and can’t do it, show that you are open for any suggestions to offer solutions, so the interlocutor will not be offended.

6. I Would Help, But It Is Trouble.

This is useful if someone asks you something which interferers with law authorities, company policies or any other restrictions. You are open and want to help but this might bring you in trouble.

7. Not Now, Later.

If you are busy, say so, don’t make them wait and rely on you, when you can’t do it now. But you can help later on. If they are in a hurry, they’ll find someone else, or suggest someone who can do it now.

8. Some Things Come Up That Need My Attention.

You want to help, but something come up that needs your attentions. You have to do that first and then you will be available. It is temporary and you will have more time when you finish it.

9. Just Say No Sometimes.

It’s okay to just say no sometimes! But say it with respect that won’t leave any tensions between anyone and keep your relations at a good level.

We always try to please and the word “No” it’s not in our vocabulary, we substitute lots of ways to be agreeable and keep the others happy. So, learn how to say “No” that will come more naturally to you, when you do, notice it and practice saying such an important two letter word. This is not going to make you a bad person.

“We must become the change we want to see”                            Mahatma Gandhi

LEADERSHIP IS a big issue. There are zillions of books about it, and pretty much an infinite number of ways to describe what makes an effective leader. Sure, everyone has its own opinions, and people respect their opinions, and there are lot of ways to achieve certain things. What makes an effective leadership is that: what’s right for one situation isn’t right for another – and good leader knows the difference and can react differently depending on the context and circumstances. 

The way you lead helps shape your culture. Therefore, your leadership style should be informed by the culture you’re trying to cultivate. And of course, the way you lead most effectively depends mostly on whom you are, and effective leaders listen and have compassion. Good leaders are made not born. If you have the desire and willpower, you can become an effective leader. Good leaders develop through a never ending process of self-study, education, training, and experience. This guide will help you through that process. 

1. Be Technically Proficient.

As a leader, you must know your job and have a solid familiarity with your employees’ tasks.

2. Seek Responsibility and Take Responsibility For Your Actions.

Search for ways to guide your organization to new heights. And when things go wrong, they always do sooner or later — do not blame others. Analyze the situation, take corrective action, and move on to the next challenge.

3. Make Sound and Timely Decisions.

Use good problem solving, decision making, and planning tools.

4. Set The Example.

Be a good role model for your employees. They must not only hear what they are expected to do, but also see.

5. Know Your People and Look Out For Their Well-being.

Know human nature and the importance of sincerely caring for your workers.

6. Keep Your Workers Informed.

Know how to communicate with not only them, but also seniors and other key people.

7. Develop A Sense of Responsibility In Your Workers.

Help to develop good character traits that will help them carry out their professional responsibilities.

8. Ensure That Tasks Are Understood, Supervised, and Accomplished.

Communication is the key to this responsibility.

9. Train As A Team.

Although many so called leaders call their organization, department, section, etc. a team; they are not really teams…they are just a group of people doing their jobs.

10. Use The Full Capabilities of Your Organization.

By developing a team spirit, you will be able to employ your organization, department, section, etc. to its fullest capabilities.

Focus, Attention, and Persistence.

As a leader, you must never lose focus on values. Look for the value. Point it out and remind people how their work is an important expression of values in action. It is your job as a leader to constantly teach, recognize, reward, and help course corrections where necessary. Every member of your workforce is responsible for values-driven business practices, but they look to you, the leader, for living examples of how the values translate into action. You set the tone. When you take a cavalier approach to values or lose sight of them—even if temporarily—you give your team members permission to do the same. When you refuse to give in to pressures and obstacles and remind everyone of the important values at stake, your people will have an excellent model to follow. The greatest challenges leaders in top positions face are ethical dilemmas—for example, questions of choosing between long-term and short-term gains. It is often a problem of choosing between right and right. There are no easy answers to some business problems. Using values will help you with clarity and decisiveness.

Character

YOUR CHOICES AND actions help define who you are. They illuminate your character. You can talk till you’re blue in the face about your values, but they’re meaningless if you do not live up with them. Companies have character, too. The culture and spirit of the company reflects its character, as do its processes, procedures, and interactions with the outside world. And all of that comes from its shared core values. The core values of a company are a key factor in its identity. They are the handful of values or guiding principles that are at the very heart of the company that are essentials to its very spirit. These values make the company what it is, and they are a major part of what each person agrees to live by, which joins them together in a meaningful way. This meaning is what drives many employees, and it is the most effective way for the leaders to motivate them.

Integrity

INTEGRITY IS THE cornerstone of business because business is based on trust. Trust between you and your employees, your clients, your suppliers, your partners, the media, and the community. If trust is broken, it’s awfully hard to recover. Integrity is one of those bottom-line, deal-breaking kinds of requirements. While you can emphasize and encourage specific values, teach laws and regulations, and communicate your expectations, you cannot teach someone integrity. You can only hire people whom you believe have it and separate yourself from those who don’t.

One of the less obvious ways we determine the integrity of a company is by assessing what the company stands for, and how well it lives up to its value as we understand them.

Know yourself and seek self-improvement - In order to know yourself, you have to understand your be, know, and do, attributes. Seeking self-improvement means continually strengthening your attributes. This can be accomplished through self-study, formal classes, reflection, and interacting with others.

“Managers are people who do things right, while leaders are people who do the right thing.” Warren Bennis

How does a leader put values into action? What questions does a leader need to ask himself or herself to clarify what is needed to lead by, with, and through values? Here are six common sense leadership strategies to consider:

1. Know Your Values.

Develop a personal understanding of your organization’s values. Think about what the company’s values really mean to you and to your unique leadership style. You need to know which of your behaviors demonstrate those values. If the business’ beliefs and principles don’t have meaning for you, you won’t be able to make them meaningful for anyone else. You must examine your own personal set of values and see how they mesh with the organizations. In some cases they won’t. Very few people see their own personal set of values in terms of things like customer service or teamwork. However, the personal value of respecting others does fit in with these organizational values. It is critical to make sure that shared values translate into behaved values. Study your organization’s values and determine how they apply to you and to the people you lead. Make sure that organizational and personal values are in sync with one another.

2. Be A Role Model.

Show people what the organizational values mean through your behaviors. People learn by observing their leaders. You must walk your talk. Bringing values to life is a behavioral issue. You are a role model for your people. Your values show up in four behaviors: how you spend your time, where you go, what you say, how you deal with problems and crises.

Actions speak louder than words, and employees aren’t dumb. Most of your employees will follow your lead. Now, you can’t be perfect all of the time and everyone has lapses. Make sure you admit aloud whenever you find yourself off track and in breach of values. When problems or crises catch you off balance, your immediate reaction might be contrary to your personal or organizational values system. But you can slow down, and ask yourself, “What guidance do our values provide for handling this situation?” You can make course corrections to demonstrate that you are concerned with doing the right thing in accordance with values. Here are some important keys for walking your talk:

• Spend your time in a way that reflects your organization’s values.

• Get out of your office and interact with the people who work with you and for you.

• Watch what you say…or don’t say.

• When things get hot, slow down, stay calm, and use values as your guide.

3. Teach values to your people.

You have to make it very clear that you expect your people to live by your organization’s values. You have to sell them on the importance of living the values; more than that, you have to teach them. One of the most effective ways to teach values is through asking questions. When you ask people what they value, and which organizational value they use most frequently, you are pointing them in the right direction. Asking questions helps people learn how to apply critical thinking skills on their own. It also helps people articulate what they already know.

4. Remove obstacles to working with values.

Your most important job as a leader is to help your people succeed. You must smooth the way for them because there are always obstacles and barriers to values driven performance. You must identify roadblocks, eliminate or minimize them, or show team members how to deal with those that can’t be removed.

5. Reward and recognize those who live the values.

Most leaders know that effective feedback must be specific and timely. It’s not effective to tell someone that he or she is “doing a great job and working with the values of the company.” What does that mean? How can people do more of it, if they aren’t sure what you mean? Instead, effective leaders say something like, “I saw you go out of your way to help so-and-so yesterday in order to avert a problem. That’s a great example of our organizational value of teamwork (or customer service, or other value) in action. I appreciate what you did.” People crave recognition. According to the Gallup Organization, 65 percent of U.S. workers reported that they received no recognition in the workplace last year. The number one reason people leave their jobs is that they don’t feel appreciated. Smart leaders actively search out opportunities to catch people doing something right and thank them for doing it. Recognizing and rewarding behavior that’s in line with values is the single best way to ensure that it continues.

6. Redirect those who aren’t working with values.

This is where the rubber meets the road and where you earn your money as a leader. You must hold people accountable when they are not living the values. There will always be a few, who don’t want to get with the program, and you must be the one to deal with this problem or everyone suffers. You will lose credibility and respect of others, and the work group as a whole will suffer. Explore with people the reasons they are doing what they are doing and why they choose not to live the values. Consider these reasons:

a. They don’t know why the values are important.

b. They don’t know what they should be doing to live/work with the values.

c. They think values are for other people, not them.

d. They don’t get rewarded for living the values.

e. Nothing happens when they don’t live the values.

f. Quite simply, they don’t like the values and refuse them.

As a leader, this presents the challenging opportunity to engage them in some meaningful dialogue about what is important to them, how their personal values can align with the organization’s, and how their personal behavior is in conflict with organizational values. The hard part is when disciplinary action is in order. Similar to giving positive feedback, be specific and timely about what behaviors need to change. The key to attempting to change anyone’s behavior is respect. You must show that you respect the employee as a person while asking for conflicting behaviors to change. Redirecting people who are not living the values is one of the most important things a leader must do. To do so is to ensure your credibility and to reinforce the importance of values.