“Negotiation in the classic diplomatic sense assumes parties more anxious to agree than to disagree”

Convincing others has a lot to do with understanding negotiation. Study the art of persuasion. Practice it. Develop an understanding of its profound value across all aspects of life. Don’t expect people to believe your blarney simply because you’re good at delivering it. Make it easy on the people you are trying to convince. I am going to illustrate basic secrets of negotiating and that will make you ready to deal.

1. Know What You’re Doing.

It’s all about persuasion, not power. Power is merely the ability to convince people to accept your ideas. Anyone in a position of power will probably agree that there are pluses and minuses of course. The plus side is that people will listen to you more readily than if you aren’t on the map financially. The minus side is that they will reduce you to one dimension and keep you there. Power is not just about calling all the shots. It’s about ability. You can call all the shots, but if they’re bad ones, no one will take much notice after while. Know what you’re doing. That’s where the real power comes from.

2. Use Metaphors and Analogies.

Give to people accessible metaphors and analogies. If you are too far over their heads, they’ll feel frustrated or, worse, inferior. Let them know you’re all on the same level in some way. Use humor. It’s a great icebreaker. Convincing other people of how wonderful you are and how lofty your ideas are is a good way to convince them to tune out or, better yet, to escape from you as soon as possible. We all need to have a healthy dose of confidence to be convincing, but don’t push it. If you do, you may see a lot of people in front of you at first, but the room will soon be empty. As the adage goes,” There’s a fine line between acceptance and resignation.” You want people to accept your ideas, not merely be resigned to them because they think they can’t fight back or are just plain exhausted by you. Don’t browbeat them into believing you. Let them think the decision is theirs. It will give them a feeling of control.

3. Analyze and Research Who You’re Dealing With.

If you walk into a negotiation and know nothing about the other party, let them talk, listen to their tone, observe their body language, and determine whether they really want to make a deal or just show you how smart they are. Most negotiations should proceed calmly, rather than in a hostile manner. However, sometimes a negotiation works best after a few screams and some table pounding. The best negotiators are chameleons. Their attitude, demeanor, approach, and posture in a negotiation will depend on the person on the other side of the table. If the other party to the transaction wants to acquire something you own, let them convince you that you really don’t want it or need it. In doing so, they’ll convince you of just how badly they want it. Money is not always the only consideration for change in the sale of an asset. Think beyond the traditional boundaries. Learn the value of saying no. View any conflict as an opportunity. Most important, know the party on the other side of the table before sitting down with them. Research who you’re dealing with, how they negotiate, and what they want from you.

4. Know Exactly What You Want and Keep It To Yourself.

If you’re careful about what you reveal, you’ll have more flexibility as you gather mare information about the contours of the deal. Don’t be confined by your expectations. Sometimes, what we think we want and what we actually want are two different things. You can discover in the middle of the negotiations that what you had wanted was the wrong thing. Sometimes, the negotiation partners can give ideas you hadn’t thought of. Even adversaries can give new ideas. Sometimes, a big question suddenly can come into your mind and you start to think in a new direction. Cut yourself some slack. It’s ok to change your mind and suggest a different approach – as long as you haven’t made any commitments to the other side. You have to assimilate new information quickly and move forward in unexpected ways – unexpected to the other party as well as to myself.

5. Let Your Guard Down, but Only on Purpose.

Offer a calculated nugget of information, or a provocative opinion, to see what the reaction is. If you say something seemingly off the cuff, you may get a revealing response. You can make an outrageous comment in a meeting just to see whether the other people play along or take a stand and disagree. It’s a good way of assessing the mettle of the folks across the table. Do you want to be liked? Are they comfortable with unpredictability? Are they capable of candor? Know that your negotiating partner may bluff, too. But when it comes to serious endeavors, you don’t want bluffers of any sort. Study person’s history.

6. Be Patient.

You have to move quickly, but if a situation requires patience, be patient. The speed depends on the circumstances, and you have to keep your objective in mind at all times. This alone can be a patience pill. One good tactic for speeding up a deal is to show a lack of interest in it. This will often make the other side rekindle their efforts to get something going. A good tactic for slowing down a deal is to distract the other side. One way is to drop hints about whether a certain aspect of the deal should be looked into further, or to mention other deals and properties as examples. That will set them off in a direction that consumes their time and focus, while they’re off on a tangent, you’ll still be on target.

That’s the reasons why negotiating should be exciting. You have to balance reason with passion. Reason keeps you open. Passion keeps your adrenaline going. Before you begin any negotiation, write down your objectives. Then try to anticipate what the other side might want. Find a way of talking about the deal and setting up parameters that will keep either of you from getting locked into an impossible position. Know what you want, bottom line, but keep it to yourself until a strategically necessary moment. Once all of the issues are on the table, you’ll have a better approach to navigating your way to your desired solution.

“The first half of life is spent mainly in finding out who we are through seeing ourselves in our interaction with others” Dr. June Singer

Many of us desire to know the principle of success in interacting with others. If you want to benefit from this principle, remove any sense of fear that blocks your magnificent nature.

The more comfortable you feel with yourself, the more willing they will be to interact with you, give a thought to the next five tips to become more confident and gain respect.

1. Speak Your Mind.

Always speak your mind. People are attracted to those who have independent thinking, even though your mindsets may differ from the others. There will be people who will disagree, but most on a conscious level, on a subconscious level they will be attracted to you. So, speak up, don’t be afraid, you will gain much more speaking your thoughts, then being in silence.

2. Confrontation.

If you want to get respect form others, then confrontation is the key. If you let someone get away without confronting them, they respect you less. If we hope to get someone to appreciate us, it is essential that we let them know we know what is happening. Confrontation is an amazing respect builder, and overcomes emotional barrier between anyone. But, this doesn’t mean that you should always fight and not appreciate their opinions.

3. Criticism.

Criticism should be always excluded; it will destroy any communication in the future and will be harder to establish. People are attracted to those who they feel accepted by. Eliminate criticism in every appearance and your notoriety will begin to grow overnight. Criticism is bad habit which allows us to reject those who use it. So, exclude it as many time as possible, try to avoid it.

4. Confidence.

Try to act as if you have it, if you don’t. People will admire you for the effort, if you practice it everyday you will feel more confident. This will strengthen your hand in become the person you want to be. Try to pretend as much as you can, if the feeling of lacking confidence still persists, it will fire up your self-confidence.

5. Impression.

If you take in consideration, what anyone else thinks about you, there is a way to win peoples the hearts, by demonstrating your ability to accept this without breaking you, showing empathy to those who rejecting you. The more calm you appear, while yet continuing to be understanding, people will get more interested. This will, in turn, begin a chain of thinking in them leading to a much more favorable perception of you by them.

If you really want to keep people interested in you and have respectful attraction towards you, give more to yourself, respect yourself, love yourself. The person, who has the strength of will to hang in there, has power to win out in the end.

“People may take a job for more money, but they often leave it for more recognition” Bob Nelson

Want to change your field of work, doing something else or living somewhere else. Now is time to do more than dream. Even if you are not ready to make the change, is time to begin planning now. Don’t wait until you are out of work.

Whether a career change is by choice or is by circumstance, a successful switch depends on some steps.

1. Think What’s Wrong Now.

Sometimes people are totally in wrong career for them. You have to escape the situation that will make you feel sick going to work every morning, most of employees escape this bad fit moment just before it has a bad and dramatic effect on them. If you are thinking changing career and there is something wrong with what you are doing now. Determine what it is, so that you don’t make the same mistake again.

2. Don’t Be Afraid.

Everybody gets scared when they start thinking about changing current work position. They fear to find themselves committed to relocating, or spending to much money on education. Most companies welcome and recognize that employees must prepare for possible change, exploring alternative paths bring new insights into the workplace. As you fear about the relocations, pay cuts, or educational demands with a career transition, it’s up to you. If you don’t like it, don’t do it.

3. Look In The Market First.

We all dream about the perfect job, but often our dreams don’t match the reality. You have to look first the job you are looking for on the market, if it exists, there might be no job you dream about. If it does exist, study the market, special magazines, Department of Labor, or local jobs ads. But there also might be a problem. If you do find one you like, they won’t pay you enough. You need to be sure if it is what you really want.

4. Have Priorities.

If for you to balance work and family issues is important, then you may want to avoid jobs that require 60 hours a week. You also may question your assumptions about jobs and jobs markets. You should take in consideration that any study of the market should take special note of the issues most critical to you.

5. Visualize Your Dream Job.

Some people have already the idea in their mind. Others don’t. If you are not satisfied where you are now and don’t know what else to do, you better start brainstorming now, and ask yourself what do you like about your job. This will help you to understand what you like, and can lead to the right career. Make a list with questions and answer them to get a general idea in are you really interested.

6. Have Connections.

Make a list of every responsible adult you know and contact those who work in their areas of interest. Now the business world allows doing that. A few years ago it might have seemed strange to contact relevant people, but today there is nothing odd about it. Be more interested get more information, not only meeting one on one with those people in the field of interest, but also find out what changes are taking place and what roles you can play.

7. Determine What Is Best For You.

You should have a job while you are looking for a better one. Take any available job while developing you dream job. If you are employed stay that way and assess what you like about this job and what you don’t like. If you want to relocate make a search of the region you want to relocate, if this move will be more secure and fulfilling life for you.

8. Get The Training You Need.

Gain fuller appreciation of your skills and capabilities. If the new job demands, requires new skills, you have to figure that out how to do it. That means you will have to take special courses needed for that job, take at home a self-study program or get a night program at local university or college.

9. Show That You Worth It.

If you plan succeeds, whether you get a new position in the company or outside. In both cases, you have to be prepared and show to the person interviewing that you have the ability to make at this new job. You have to show the fit to market yourself in a effective way. You have to be prepared for the questions you will be asked, have the answers that show your great experience and leadership skills.

Change and look for a better job that gives more fulfillments in your life and you will get rewards.

“Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot love within.” James Arthur Baldwin

Have you ever felt or do you feel now, that you lack someone special in your life and worry that something might be wrong with you? Having that special women or man in a flourishing realtionship sometimes might be hard to get. There is a secret fear and lie that comes into you mind all the time, like “you might never find the “one” (man/women) or might spend the rest of your life lonely and alone.”

Since you have the power to change yourself, this is the time to strategically withdraw and evaluate where you fell short, then make some corrections in your approach to relationships.

1. Have Self-respect.

You sould simply have a fundamental understanding of the motivating psychological factors of human being and then apply them the best you can. You have to show self-respect, if you don’t, at least act like you do. It’s not necessary to be perfect in order to win the game of love. Just try to apply the self respect feeling, which will offer a most favorable result as your relationship increasingly gets better and better.

2. Be Strong-minded.

Show some control in your determinations. If you seem to be spiritless about your plans and intentions, it turns potential lovers off. People look for someone strong to relate with, upon whom they can lean emotionally.

3. Don’t Open Yourself Too Much.

If you want the person you are in love with to show the same feeling, then you need to know, that opening too soon and too much to the person you are in relation with, will bring down your chances to get closer to each other. But the only way to spark someone’s passion is to make sure you don’t let them become overconfident of your commitment to them too soon.

4. Learn To Build Passion.

If you want to keep them passionately interested while you are building a more lasting solid relationship, you must never allow them to become overconfident that they have you. The minute you do, your magic spell over them will begin to lose its power. Passion thrives on a mix of both hope and doubt.

5. Learn To Listen.

If you listen to another human being, you will be giving them one of the greatest gifts of their life, as well as laying the foundation for them to fall in love with you. By listening to another person and then summing up for them what you heard them just say, with a humble invitation for them to clarify where you’re not getting it all, you’ll hook them for life! Many people go through life and never experience in their entire mortal existence the feeling of having someone show a sincere interest in truly wanting to understand them.

6. Surprise Them.

A little diversity is the excitement of life, and impulsiveness will help you add a little secrecy and intrigue to your image. Do some surprising things sometimes. Though they may act shocked, people can’t help but smile when someone, they thought they had pegged, surprises them and is a little nothing dangerous or immoral off the wall.

7. Be A Game Player.

Don’t ever believe what people say, that they don’t like game players, that they will fall in love with somebody who disregards the rules of romantic behavior. Our psychological needs are hard wired into us, and will win out over idealistic sayings.

8. Be Patient.

The more certain course to victory is to take your time. A good fisherman doesn’t try to reel in his fish right away, lest the fish still has enough strength to wrench itself free. The seasoned fisherman allows the fish lots of line and time to wear itself out, while still on the hook, before finally reeling it in.

9. Get Used To Each Other.

Part of falling in love is just getting used to being around someone. That’s why we love our families and childhood friends so much. Love is what you go through together. So don’t be too hasty to conclude that time spent just being together isn’t building towards something greater down the road. It usually does.

The conclusion is that men and women don’t understand the simple gestures of tenderness sometimes, a good word said at the right time, either simple attempt to listen can be a path towards to a flourishing relationship.

“Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.” John Fitzgerald Kennedy

When you’re speaking, it helps to be prepared. That may sound funny after what I’ve just told you, but if you read every day, you will already be prepared-maybe not for the fine points you are specifically speaking about, but usually we are asked to speak about something we are experts at or at least familiar with. Cover your bases mentally. Imagine yourself being in audience. What are you looking for? Being able to trade places with the audience can open you up to a lot of ideas.

2. Have Notes.

Have examples and references in mind to back up your statements, and make them as vivid as possible for your listeners. Notes can sometimes function as a useful reference point, especially if you’re speaking to a large audience. If you’re prepared, no one can tell that you’re using them. Ideally, you don’t want to read a speech. For some reason, no matter how good your delivery is when you read a speech, it’s usually boring. Everyone sees that you’re reading it and it’s never quite the same as delivering it off the cuff. Notes offer the best of both worlds: They keep you focused and moving in the right direction without turning you into a stiff.

3. Be A Good Storyteller.

People like stories, and they’ll remember them. A speech shouldn’t become a lecture. Humor goes a long way, and it will remind you and everyone else that we’ve all got a lot of things in common. Storytelling is a skill, so work on it. It’s helpful to listen to comedians. The good ones can teach you the art of great timing.

4. Think About The Common Experiences.

How can all of us relate to one another? How can you enable your audience to relate to you and to what you’re saying? Everyone has a daily routine and a family. You stuck in traffic jams, you have cranky moments and bad days like everyone else. A lot of your experience can be understood and appreciated by your audience because they’ve had them, too. Look for what you have in common and lead with it. You will create and immediate bond, because they will realize they can relate to you.

5. Be A Entertainer.

People are there to learn something, but also to be entertained. One reasons Elvis Presley was such a great entertainer is that he made every effort to tune in to his audience –it was give-and-take all the way. And nobody did it like Sinatra. Some people call it charisma. I call it tinning in delivering.

6. Be Able To Poke Fun At Yourself.

This will make you accessible to people even if you are up the stage and in the spotlight. We’ve all had disasters in our lives, major and minor. To be able to laugh at them in retrospect is healthy and helpful. Use the blips that we all encounter in our lives to your advantage.

7. Learn To Think On Your Feet.

Memorable public speaking involves a good deal of spontaneity. It’s a lot like negotiating-you have to focus on your goals but remain flexible. A lot of people are terrific writers but not so great at getting their ideas across orally. Writing is a form of thinking, and so is peaking. The difference is that you don’t have time to go back and correct yourself when you’re onstage. It’s not a first draft and it’s not a rehearsal. Be prepared for the performance, because that’s what’s expected of you.

8. Listen In Your Daily Life.

Every day can be a preparation for a speech or a presentation. Have you ever said to yourself, “I will have to remember that one” after hearing someone say something particularly clever or unusual? Even offhand comments that you overhear can be useful. Remember them. Make notes if you must. Everything and everyone can become material.

9. Have A Good Time.

It’s contagious. If your audience believes you are enjoying what you are doing, they’ll enjoy being in your company. If it’s an obvious chore to you, forget it and find someone else to speak for you. Before you speak, remind yourself that it doesn’t matter all that much. Don’t feel that the weight of the world is on you. Most of the people in the room don’t care how well or poorly you do. It’s just not that important. It’s merely a speech-not an earthquake or a war. You’ll have a better time and be a better speaker if you keep it all in perspective.

So, think about your audience first. The rest will fall into place. Involve your audience. They will appreciate being included.

“Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated.” Lou Holtz

Regardless of whether you are putting your staff together or whether they are already in place, the importance of the ongoing support of your subordinates cannot be overemphasized. At the beginning of a new initiative, motivation usually isn’t a big problem—unless people are confused about what is expected of them.

Unforeseen events disrupt even the best plans. It’s natural for people to begin to drag their feet, forget about details, lose steam, or give in to opposition. How do you counteract these tendencies? See below tips that will put your stuff together and motivate them.

1. Goals.

Use your understanding of preferred roles, values, competencies, and expectations of individuals in daily interactions, such as planning goals together. Assign tasks in the work breakdown structure consistent with capabilities and the level of challenge, neither too hard nor too easy. Set up big successes with a series of little successes. Check that people have a process to achieve their objectives or feel competent in creating such a process. Check that people know what results they are supposed to achieve, and why.

2. Ownership.

Make clear by discussion what work people own and how they are responsible and empowered to make decisions. Welcome participation in substantive organizational decisions. Give people expense authorization. Encourage those who seek increased areas of responsibility. Encourage people to put their name on their work. Show people how their contribution is part of a larger program that makes a real difference.

3. Measurements.

Establish frequent, objective, and none threatening self-measures of performance for people who are more engaged when there are “scores” or metrics.

4. Teamwork.

Clarify that motivating others is everyone’s job. Design organizations in which groups cooperate by establishing objectives for collaboration. Attempt to understand an unmotivated team member and then resolve the lack of motivation. Add a variety of simple, fun events to work, like team celebrations, meals, the use of humor, team sports, or special outings.

5. Excellence.

Encourage people by expressing confidence in their abilities. Request and support excellence since most people want to feel good about the quality of their work. Demonstrate excellence by personal example.

6. Appreciation.

Learn what recognition individuals prefer. For accomplishments and positive behaviors, thank people specifically, frequently, with sincerity and variety, and soon after a meritorious deed is completed. Express appreciation in private, if necessary to avoid negative consequences from co-workers. Celebrate successes.

7. Suggestions.

Offer suggestions sparingly, unless they are requested. Communicate suggestions directly, in private, or indirectly, according to culture. Make constructive suggestions to address differences between expected performance and observations. Offer suggestions that are opportunities for growth and success, and do so in a positive way to avoid defensive reactions. Help people prevent mistakes by sharing early observations.

8. Money.

Implement pay for performance philosophy, providing larger financial rewards to people who make more significant, sustained contributions. Adjust salaries and distribute stock options. Encourage stock ownership. Reinforce the causal relationship between performance and profit-sharing.

9. Consequences.

Avoid punishing good behavior (examples: overworking a good performer to make up for a bad performer; unleashing your anger at the person who delivers the news that a project is not going well). Avoid rewarding bad behavior or the absence of good behavior (examples: giving extra attention to a poor performer; promoting, or sending on trips, a poor performer because you cannot spare a good performer). Avoid promising rewards since promised rewards lead to a focus on the reward and less on the problem. Promised rewards also diminish a sense of control and hinder sustained interest.

10. Respect.

Demonstrate respect for people at all times by honoring their intelligence, skills, and points of view. React enthusiastically to genuine cooperation. Do not criticize, blame, humiliate, or ridicule people in public. Gently correct behavior problems. Do not punish people for trying to do what you expect, like sharing innovative ideas or probing the basis of a questionable opinion. Be empathetic and compassionate.

11. Fairness.

Create an environment and make decisions that are fair to everyone. Reward people on performance. Do not tolerate sustained poor performance. Recognize that what people perceive and how they react to motivational efforts may be culturally dependent.

12. Communicate.

Keep people informed, erring on the side of over-communication. Communicate regularly to avoid surprises. Ask and support people to express their concerns. Listen actively to understand and be able to paraphrase opinions. Speak in ways that make people proud of their affiliation with you and the organization.

13. Changes.

Pursue constancy of purpose and avoid unnecessary changes. Do not start programs that are patches for crises, especially if there is no follow-up or benefit. If changes are necessary, involve people in understanding the change and use other leading change techniques. Because desire for closure is a strong driver that keeps people working on tasks that should be discontinued, put in extra effort to motivate change. Use the power of the word because when helping people understand why changes are necessary.

14. Irritants.

Talk to people and find out what irritates them. Be careful about sarcasm. Manage meetings to avoid wasting time. Common irritants include disturbing noises, flickering lights, annoying smells, cramped space, distracting temperatures, and poor tools. Eliminate unnecessary approvals, delays, inspections, rework, and unsafe conditions. Remove tasks with a low return and a high level of effort. Help eliminate or overcome obstacles, both imagined and real. Avoid command and control management styles—focus on results.

15. Roles.

Determine what roles individuals prefer, by looking for patterns of activity in answers to questions like “Tell me about some job you’ve had that you really enjoyed?” “What outside interests do you pursue?” and “Is there anything you’ve always wanted to do, but never got to?”

16. Values.

Identify, recognize, and use the special strengths of people. Learn from each individual what he or she values. Values like achievement, control, experience, recognition, responsibility, creativity, health, relationships, competence, enjoyment, peace of mind, resources, time. Consider modifying job responsibilities to tap available competencies. Support requests to develop competencies.

17. Expectations.

Ask what actions people are particularly motivated to undertake. Find out what outcomes people expect from particular actions, and the value they place on those outcomes. Understand key needs that you may be able to fulfill in exchange for their cooperation.

18. Limits.

Accept that the ability to motivate others is limited. Only a portion of motivation is subject to influences, since a host of personality traits, values, and basic needs are deeply ingrained. Performance is not only a function of motivation, but also knowledge, discipline, habits, skills, goals, strategies, and facilities.

Always ask yourself “What’s in it for the other person?” Since people often want to be involved, powerful motivation may result simply from asking for people’s help. Motivating others to support your project when operating across organizations may be accomplished by providing more opportunities, feedback, tangible results, or encouragement than they get anywhere else.

“The life of inner peace, being harmonious and without stress is the easiest type of existence.” Norman Vincent Peale

Too much Stress? Stress occurs in most working situations, but the often-conflicting demands of work and personal life can be a major source of stress, worry, and anxiety, both at work and at home. Finding a healthy balance between the two can reduce stress and increase productive energy in all aspects of your life.

So, learn how to recognize the signs that you’re under too much stress, explore the causes of stress, and set priorities so you can focus your energy on what really needs to get done.

1. Stop To Tourself.

As soon as you begin to feel stress coming on, say “Stop!” to yourself. If you have a problem which causes stress and you are under time pressure, you become nervous and you begin thinking in the wrong direction, lots of negative information is in your head, try to block those messages before they can be heard by saying, “Stop!” Repeat the message a few times: “Stop!” “Stop!”

2. Exercise Your Breathing.

Take a deep breath, filling your diaphragm with air. Focusing on breathing helps you to focus on your stress in a different way. Hold that breathe for eight seconds, and then slowly let the air out. Just as the word “stop” blocks the negative thoughts from your mind; breathing overcomes the stress tendency to hold your breath when under stress.

3. Reflect On Problem.

Breathing will give you energy; now you can focus on the real problem, the cause of stress. You can begin to analyze the different levels of thought and to sort out rational from irrational stress responses. You can see the practical situation more calmly and realistically and distinguish your concern thoughts, how they influence and where they come from.

4. Find Solutions.

You can choose to find real solutions after reflecting on the problem. What might have seemed a disaster becomes a manageable problem that you were given the power to solve by identifying your options.

5. Do A Reality Check.

Find out if your worry has any basis in fact. Worry can distort the real situation. Check to make sure if things are really as bad as they seem. Even when there is an actual problem, it may be easier to solve than you think. Often worry is a small problem blown out of proportion by your imagination. Before you let worry consume you, get the facts. Find out what and how big the real problem is.

6. Never Worry Alone.

Connect with those you know will reassure you, not those who might exaggerate your concerns. They can help you see things differently. Talk to someone you trust—a friend, partner, colleague, mentor—about your concerns. Just talking can be a relief, and your listener may even provide some reassurance and guidance.

7. Take Positive Action To Correct The Problem.

Don’t be a victim of worry and stress. Brooding about the problem gets you nowhere. Fix the problem if you can! If not, then make the problem more manageable by making small corrective changes. You don’t even have to solve the whole problem at once—just make a plan and take it one step at a time, solving one part of the problem first and then the next. Bit by bit you’ll overcome the problem and dissolve your worry.

8. Take Care Of Your Body.

Exercise daily, eat healthy foods, and get enough sleep. Worry and stress put a heavy strain on your body. Taking good care of yourself physically not only reduces the level of tension your body is coping with, but it gives you more energy to deal with the problem itself! Maintaining your brain means caring for your body, (cut down on fats, sugar, caffeine, and alcohol), exercise every day (even a short walk will help invigorate your brain as well as your body), and practice relaxation techniques (tune out your critical voice).

9. Relax Whenever And Wherever You Can.

Practice relaxation techniques whenever you start to feel the first signs of tension, worry, or stress. While quick exercises that you can do almost anywhere are helpful, find the time and space for longer, more meditative relaxation—these exercises are more beneficial in the long run.

10. Let Worries Go.

If there’s nothing you can do about a problem (or nothing more, if you already worked on it)—if it’s simply out of your control—then you have to let the worry go. Blow it away, and start a new project, read a different book, walk another path. Give it up to your past and forget about it. This may be difficult to do, but it is worth the conscious effort.

By beginning to take charge, you can decrease your sense of helplessness, increase your power to perceive the problem more clearly and to discover positive actions you need to take to improve the situation or solve the problem, and quickly diminish the worry that was interfering with your ability to function effectively.

“Managing to have a sense of humor makes it a lot easier to manage people” Steve Wilson

Do you have problems managing your time? I am sure that almost everyone encounters this problem: how do I make more time for myself, my job and people I love. First of all, you need to understand and learn how to identify the jobs that are most—and least—important, focus your time on the most critical task, and avoid time wasters.

Learn about how you spend your time, as well as about using goals as guideposts, scheduling your time, controlling time wasters, and putting your schedule into action.

In this article you will find basic and productive steps to manage the priceless asset called “time” and learn how to prioritize your goals. Have a look and try to implement some of the presented ideas to your daily life activity.

1. Analyze How You Currently Spend Your Time.

For at least one day and preferably a week, use a time log to record the things you do. Note each activity and how long it takes. Tally your activities into categories. Take each category and total the number of minutes spent on it each day. Divide the result by the total number of minutes in your day. (An 8-hour day has 480 minutes.)

This tells you the percentage of time that you spend working on that activity. Determine whether the time you spend in each category matches your key responsibilities. Evaluate your time usage in terms of payoff.

2. Review Your Goals.

Review your organizational, departmental, and personal goals. Consider the priorities that you have assigned to each goal, and ask yourself whether you are attempting too much. If the answer is yes, try adjusting your priorities.

3. Break Your Goals Into Manageable Tasks.

Review each of your goals individually, and list all of the key tasks required to achieve each goal. Put the tasks in sequential order. Estimate how much of your time each task or activity will require. Establish a deadline for the completion of each task or activity. For more complex activities set up milestones along the way to track your progress.

Assign priorities to each task, based on the priority of the goal that each task supports. Note which tasks need to be completed in a sequence, and which may be done at any time before or after a particular stage is reached.

4. Schedule Your Time.

Take your top priority tasks and block them into time slots over several weeks or months, using a scheduling tool that allows you to take a daily, weekly, and monthly perspective. Schedule important work or activities that need creativity and intelligence during your peak energy period. Schedule only part of your day, leaving time to deal with crises and the unexpected.

Combine tasks and consolidate similar activities, where possible. Identify tasks to work on when you have unexpected free time. Use to-do lists to break daily tasks into further detail. Keep your schedule easily accessible. Check on your progress throughout the day to see if you are on target.

5. Identify Your Time Wasters And Outline Strategies To Deal With Them.

Review your time log and identify the types of things that prevent you from keeping to your schedule. Work with one time waster at a time. For each time waster, brainstorm strategies that match your personal style. Experiment with the strategies you develop and keep the ones that are realistic. Make sure to add those time wasters you cannot control back into your schedule.

6. Implement Your Schedule.

Once you have analyzed your time and time wasters, and scheduled your time, you are ready to implement your schedule. Carry your to-do list with you during the day. Review your schedule at the end of the day. Reward yourself for tasks completed on schedule and make any adjustments needed during the rest of the week. Handle unexpected tasks quickly and return to your priority tasks.

As changes occur, modify your weekly schedule to compensate. Remember, new habits, like adhering to a schedule, are hard to adopt at first. The more you do it, the more automatic it becomes.

7. Evaluate Your Schedule And Make Adjustments.

After you have been using scheduling tools for about one month, monitor the implementation and results of your schedule. Ask yourself the following: Are you completing the tasks you set for the week? Are you making progress on achieving your goals? Do you feel better prepared and focused? What was the impact of not doing some tasks? Modify your schedule based on your analysis.

Most important, you should do everything you can to avoid interruptions that waste your time or take you away from your primary goals.

“Emotional Intelligence plays an important role in a well-balanced and productive workplace, as well as in leadership development.” Allan Schwever

To define the ideal leader, many would emphasize traits such as intelligence, toughness, determination, and vision. But the key attribute that distinguishes outstanding performers from those who are merely adequate is called “emotional intelligence.”

There are five components to emotional intelligence. All five traits sound desirable to just about everyone. But organizations too often implicitly discourage their people from developing them.

1. Self-awareness.

Emotional intelligence begins with this quality. People with a high degree of self-awareness know their weaknesses and aren’t afraid to talk about them. People who assess themselves honestly – that is, self-aware people – are well suited to do the same for the organizations they run. Self-awareness means having a deep understanding of one’s emotions, strengths, weaknesses, needs, and drives. People with strong self-awareness are neither overly critical nor unrealistically hopeful. Rather, they are honest – with themselves and with others. Thus a self-aware person who knows that tight deadlines bring out the worst in him plans his time carefully and gets his work done well in advance.

2. Self-regulation.

This attribute flows from self-awareness, but runs in a different direction. People with this trait are able to control their impulses or even channel them for good purposes. Self-regulation, which is like an ongoing inner conversation, is the component of emotional intelligence that frees us from being prisoners of our feelings. People engaged in such a conversation feel bad moods and emotional impulses just as everyone else does, but they find ways to control them and even to channel them in useful ways. The signs of emotional self-regulation, therefore, are not hard to miss: a propensity for reflection and thoughtfulness; comfort with ambiguity and change; and integrity – an ability to say no to impulsive urges.

Like self-awareness, self-regulation often does not get its due. People who can master their emotions are sometimes seen as cold fish – their considered responses are taken as a lack of passion.

3. Motivation.

A passion for achievement for its own sake—not simply the ability to respond to whatever incentives a company offers—is the kind of motivation that is essential for leadership. If there is one trait that virtually all effective leaders have, it is motivation. They are driven to achieve beyond expectations – their own and everyone else’s. The key word here is achieve. Plenty of people are motivated by external factors such as a big salary or the status that comes from having an impressive title or being part of a prestigious company. It’s not difficult to understand how and why a motivation to achieve translates into strong leadership. If you set the performance bar high for yourself, you will do the same for the organization when you are in a position to do so. And of course, optimism and organizational commitment are fundamental to leadership – just try to imagine running a company without them.

4. Empathy.

In addition to self-management skills, emotional intelligence requires a facility for dealing with others. And that starts with empathy—taking into account the feelings of others when making decisions— as opposed to taking on everyone’s troubles. Of all the dimensions of emotional intelligence, empathy is the most easily recognized. We have all felt the empathy of a sensitive teacher or friend; we have all been struck by its absence in an unfeeling coach or boss. But when it comes to business, we rarely hear people praised, let alone rewarded, for their empathy. The very word seems no businesslike, out of place amid the tough realities of the marketplace. Empathy is particularly important today as a component of leadership for at least three reasons: the increasing use of teams; the rapid pace of globalization; and the growing need to retain talent. But leaders with empathy do more than sympathize with people around them: they use their knowledge to improve their companies in subtle but important ways.

5. Social skill.

All the preceding traits culminate in this fifth one: the ability to build rapport with others, to get them to cooperate, to move them in a direction you desire. Managers who simply try to be sociable— while lacking the other components of emotional intelligence—are likely to fail. Social skill, by contrast, is friendliness with a purpose. The first three components of emotional intelligence are all self-management skills. The last two, empathy and social skill, concerns a person’s ability to manage relationships with others. As a component of emotional intelligence, social skill is not as simple as it sounds. It’s not just a matter of friendliness, although people with high levels of social skill are rarely mean-spirited. Social skill, rather, is friendliness with a purpose: moving people in the direction you desire, whether that’s agreement on a new marketing strategy or enthusiasm about a new product.

Extended practice, feedback from colleagues, and your own enthusiasm for making the change are essential to becoming an effective leader. It is fortunate, then, that emotional intelligence can be learned. The process is not easy. It takes time and, most of all, commitment. But the benefits that come from having a well-developed emotional intelligence, both for the individual and for the organization, make it worth the effort.

“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not” Mark Twain

Here are some tips and tricks to help you re-program yourself. Start implementing as many of these tips and tricks as you can. Make them every day parts of your life. Let them in your life daily as much as you can, and watch how your body changes. With each change, comes even more motivation, more commitment, more promise.

1. Drink more water.

Your body is 75% water. What does that tell you? Why force your body to find the water in the foods you eat when all you have to do is drink more of it every day. Water supplies even more oxygen to your body. It speeds up your metabolism, and is a natural hunger suppressant.

2. Become a vegetarian one day a week.

With all the choices we have these days, this is an easy task. Make it the same day every week and start looking forward to it and plan for it as well. Try to eat more vegetables and fruits one day a week, believe me you will feel the difference in days. Your body needs some time out to restart itself from the heavy meals we have every day.

3. Fruits are best.

As you consume all the garbage food in your pantry and refrigerator, replace them with healthy alternatives. When the cookies are gone, buy some fruit. Instead of ice cream, try nonfat yogurt. You get the idea.

4. Go for a walk at least 1 time a week.

Try to run errands by foot instead of using the car. Try to work the walk up to at least 45 minutes at a time. Don’t know where to walk? Who cares? Get out and see your world with a new perspective. Walking will do this for you. Walk for 22.5 minutes, then turn around and head back to where you started. Keep it simple. Add to your time as you increase your endurance.

5. Ride a bike.

You’d be surprised how easy it is to still ride a bicycle. Again, try to run your errands on your bike. Try a mountain bike. You can ride these in parks and trails as well as on the street.

6. Take the stairs.

So it’ll take you a couple of extra minutes to take the stairs instead of the elevator. But check it out, you’re getting to where you want to go and getting some exercise as well.

7. Learn more about health, fitness, and nutrition.

Read articles while standing in line at the supermarket. Check your newspaper. Watch television programs. The more you learn, the harder it will be for you to stick to your bad habits.

8. Eat with less calories.

If you must eat fast food hamburgers, ask for extra lettuce, pickles, tomatoes, and onions. Try eating 2 small regular hamburgers instead of a double sized burger. Often you’ll be eating fewer calories and fat, but be just as satisfied.

9. Fry with no oil.

Try frying with small quantities of beef and chicken broth instead of oil. Use a low to medium heat for cooking. Add up each gram of fat you’ll save by not adding oil every time you cook, and you will literally cut out thousands of grams of fat out of your body per year!

10. Make sandwiches without meat.

That’s right. Pile on the mustard, cucumbers, lettuce, tomatoes, bean and alfalfa sprouts. Use only whole grain, unbleached flour breads. After a few sandwiches, you’ll forget about the meat.

11. Soup rocks.

Have soup as an appetizer before dinner. Hot soup is a great appetite suppressant. It fills you up thus, increasing your metabolism.

12. Add beans to your meals.

Dried beans such as kidney, pinto, and black beans add lots of protein to your diet. Like oatmeal, your body draws energy slowly from the consumption of beans. They fill you up fast as well. They keep you from getting hungry for longer periods of time.

13. Prepare your snacks ahead of time.

Have them ready when you need them. Not only will this save you money, but it’ll keep you from hitting the fast food as well. Try snacking on carrots, celery, pretzels, air-popped popcorn with onion or garlic powder, wholegrain crackers and wafers, apples, oranges, peaches, grapes, etc. Purchase them ahead of time so they’re there when you need them.

14. Read the labels.

With all the information manufacturers provide us these days on the labels of their products, you’d think everyone would be reading them, not true. Read the label. Compare one brand to another. You’d be surprised at how they can differ. You really don’t compromise taste as much as you’d think either.

15. Olive oil.

Use olive oil for cooking instead of other oils. It’s better for your heart, cholesterol, and arteries. For garlic bread, try olive oil and freshly pressed garlic on sourdough bread instead of butter or margarine on French bread.

16. Go easy on yourself!

If you make a mistake here and there, don’t worry about it. Life goes on! It’s not the end of the world. Learn a lesson from each mistake!

Try to add at least one of these tips and tricks to your lifestyle each week. Take it slow. Don’t try to change everything in one day, one week, or one month. Trying to do that is just like begging for failure. Visualize yourself implementing these tips and tricks. See yourself investigating healthier ways of life. Visualize yourself walking, running, hiking, and bicycling. See yourself re-vitalized. This is another form of positive affirmation. Another way to deprogram yourself of your bad habits and re-program yourself into picking up some great ones!